Help meeeeeeeee!!!

It's the last week of school,and I am sooo stressed! Any tips on how to chill the hell out?

And then I used laughter as therapy

I don't know why, but I laughed so hard I cried! hahaha

It's time to be open

I went away this weekend, and I was amazed at how refreshed and happy I felt again. I forgot what it felt like to be the true Andriana. For the past few months I have been living with constant fear, sadness, anger, and anxiety. My body reacts so strongly to what my mind believes, that it refuses to eat and relax for days on end. I'm frightened because I don't know how to calm my own self down. No matter how many deep breaths I take, and no matter how hard I try, I cannot talk myself out of attacks. My heart is always racing as if im in fight or flights mode, and my stomach is perpetually upset. Sometimes I wonder if it's just a chemical imbalance, or if it's the will to carry on gradually leaving my system. I see no point to me. I feel no worth to anyone, but everybody to me is worth everything.

Now that I am back in my living environment, I am stressed again. Pacifica was a nice escape for me, I felt like I could breate again. But I realized upon my return, my happiness is only short lived,and I am back in my own hell. My life cannot depend on vacations, and leaving reality to find happiness. I would be lying if I said I had never had thoughs of death, or killing myself. But I will probably never do such a thing for I have a great fear of the unknown, and I know I have an obligation to those around me.

I like to live for other people, not for myself. I don't know how to love myself before others. I'm ready to go now, I really am.